Have you ever had one of those mornings where you just wish you could have a do-over? I don’t really get the expression “I woke up on the wrong side of the bed”, but if I am ever going to say it, today would be the day.  I woke up super grouchy. Partly because I went to bed too late last night, partly because PMS is rearing it’s ugly head and partly because I’m just so fucking...

In case you need a refresher course on where babies come from, I thought I’d offer you the wise words of my 4 year old. He knows it all. “First I become a seed in your belly. Then I grow to a baby. And then I become a little boy. And then I become a big boy. And then I become a real real real daddy.” The best part is that apparently he learned it all from me because he says so.  Wow, I’m...

So it’s Friday and half the world is chanting “TGIF”.  Friday is just like any other day to me. Tomorrow I will still wake up at 6 o’clock in the fucking morning and lay around in my pajamas for about 4 or 5 hours until my household gets it together and we decide to do something. And by doing something, I mean like going to Costco to spend more money than necessary buying frivolous items...

A few weeks ago we had some out of town visitors. They stayed one night and we were planning to take them to South Beach the next night so they could have their own “parent’s without kid’s night”. After breakfast, we all went our own ways in the house. Cleaning, playing, showering, and packing. At one point Jade had found our guest’s make-up bag and started putting on some blush, then she put on her...

I’m in the grocery store with my son, Jagger and we are in the checkout line. I look behind me and see a guy with piercings and tattoos… no big deal and I don’t pay much attention. I pay, we leave. We get in the car and as I am driving away, Jagger says “mommy, I just saw a man with horns.” I say “You did? Was he in line behind us?” and he says “yes, he also had fangs. How did he get them?”...